Bears. The arseholes of the animal kingdom, or at least that portion of the animal kingdom that resides inside videogames. The ones in Far Cry 3 are as annoying as the ones in Skyrim, as I discovered one afternoon when I trotted, whistling, into a roadside bush and it turned around and bit me in the face. Respawning, I succumbed to the red mist, ran to the nearest shop, bought the biggest RPG in the game and returned to the scene of my death, demanding satisfaction.
The bear that had killed me was nowhere to be seen, but I spotted another one just down the road, engaged in bear-fisticuffs with a jeep. I levelled the RPG, fired and watched the blast cloud propel both grizzly and car into the stratosphere. Sweet lady victory! Then I turned around and the bear I'd been hunting bit me in the face.
would make an epic Hollywood blockbuster