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General "Humour" thread.

Anything that doesn’t fit anywhere else

General "Humour" thread.

Postby lazercut123 » 03 Sep 2013, 16:04

Just thought I would make a thread where people put jokes and puns on.

For example:

One person asks the other: is that plain water you're drinking?

Then the other replies: no, it's helicopter water.


An awful first joke, but you get the gist of it.
"I fear being nothing, I fear having no thought, no feeling, no joy or sadness, I fear nothingness. And spiders." - Me.
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Re: Jokes

Postby TippiestRook99 » 03 Sep 2013, 16:08

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Sorry just felt I had to and I feel that I will someday post a lot of Austin Powers pictures. :roll: :wink:
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Re: Jokes

Postby ImTehBAwsss » 03 Sep 2013, 16:18

An asari walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why so blue?" :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby msbhvn » 03 Sep 2013, 16:20

Something I saw on 9gag yesterday.

Batman: Alfred, that sandwich was awful!
Alfred: Do you know what I did to the last person that said that, Master Wayne?
Batman: No, what?
Alfred: I hired a junkie to shoot her and her husband in an alley.
I don't get the appeal at all. Like what do they do... say something stupid then read the replies while they touch themselves? - Vampyre_Ghost on trolls.
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Re: Jokes

Postby captainhetty » 03 Sep 2013, 16:35

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Re: Jokes

Postby FadelessRipleyX » 03 Sep 2013, 16:36

ImTehBAwsss wrote:An asari walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why so blue?" :lol: :lol:


Mass Effect jokes! <3 You're my kinda guy BA. :lol:

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Why don't geth wear shoes?
Because the last time a geth asked about a sole, it started a war.
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Re: Jokes

Postby CunningSmile » 03 Sep 2013, 16:50

A krogan, a quarian and a vorcha are in a car. Who's driving?

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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Re: Jokes

Postby msbhvn » 03 Sep 2013, 16:52

CunningSmile wrote:A krogan, a quarian and a vorcha are in a car. Who's driving?

C-Sec


SPACE RACIST! Who told you that one, Ashley Williams? :lol:
I don't get the appeal at all. Like what do they do... say something stupid then read the replies while they touch themselves? - Vampyre_Ghost on trolls.
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Re: Jokes

Postby FadelessRipleyX » 03 Sep 2013, 16:54

msbhvn wrote:
CunningSmile wrote:A krogan, a quarian and a vorcha are in a car. Who's driving?

C-Sec


SPACE RACIST! Who told you that one, Ashley Williams? :lol:


I was tempted to use that one, but I feared such accusations! :lol:

Why don't asari wear miniskirts?
They like going commando.
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Re: Jokes

Postby ImTehBAwsss » 03 Sep 2013, 16:55

FadelessRipleyX wrote:
ImTehBAwsss wrote:An asari walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why so blue?" :lol: :lol:


Mass Effect jokes! <3 You're my kinda guy BA. :lol:

Image

Why don't geth wear shoes?
Because the last time a geth asked about a sole, it started a war.


Awww... *remembers the reason why* oh ok then ;).

Marcus tried to tell Anthony Carmine about snipers but its like it went through one ear and out the other... :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby FishyGinger » 03 Sep 2013, 17:02

Some of these jokes are terrible. My ladyfriend would probably like them. Other than that she's great, she's a dolphin. When we first met we just clicked.
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Re: Jokes

Postby TippiestRook99 » 03 Sep 2013, 17:26

FadelessRipleyX wrote:Why don't asari wear miniskirts?
They like going commando.

How many salarians does it take to make a sandwich?
Depends on the krogan's appetite.
And that's why my butt hurts - Troy Baker - Men in Black:Alien Crisis

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Re: Jokes

Postby Grummy » 03 Sep 2013, 18:02

This thread

Man Utds transfer policy.

Playstation 4.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Plamsa wing » 03 Sep 2013, 18:12

You missed "your mother". :wink:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Grummy » 03 Sep 2013, 18:23

Plamsa wing wrote:You missed "your mother". :wink:


I thought about it, but I figured Lazer would think I was picking on him at that point. Besides, it's too soon to tell him I'm his real dad.
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